Monthly Archives

February 2017

Spoke Too Soon

By | Art, Real Life | No Comments

So another week of me laying in bed due to the fucking flu has passed. I’m sick, this time with added swollen lymph nodes. So I basically sound awful and like I’m talking with my nose closed. Although, that is not all that far from the truth because my nose stuffed up.  Again, my month has been HELL. And I hate more than anything is to be idle and stuck in bed  I’m always busy, I always got some project going on and basically, this sickness has cut me off from doing all of my projects.

And don’t me get started on my lack of activism this week. I haven’t been able to look my laptop until now. Seriously, you know shit has hit the fan in my house when I haven’t touched my laptop for more than the necessary hours to sleep. Some may say that I’m addicted to the internet, and you wouldn’t be wrong.  For more proof, just check out my reaction to having no wifi. It was not a pretty sight, that’s all I’m saying dudes.

As for my art, I decided that as much as I have improved over the last yea, I have sort forgot about the basics. Like everybody and their mama is like ‘Gigi digital painting is where it’s at.’ And I can draw a little bit, but to be honest I have almost no interest into traditional line art. Well, I love look traditional line art ( I do love a museum) but for me where I shine is in photo manipulation. Eventually, I might go ahead and learn photography since that is an adjacent field for me to get to. But digital painting and drawing period I have no interest in.  I do realize that I need to start paying attention to the rules and the sort of physics of traditional painting because as a photo manipulator I tend use the same rules in my own branch art.

So I am going back to basics on that. I have also had a lack of inspiration when it came the original photo manipulations and I actually have gotten lot of inspiration from famous traditional line artists. Those pairings especially has made realize that there is no limit on what I can do. For me, my personal style is drawing or panting like photo manipulations and I’m also very minimalist when comes to textures and brushes. Which is kind of strange since when I first started out, I leaned heavily on those things. And I also like to tell story with every piece that I made. It’s the writer in me, I think that sort bleeds into art.

Everything in every piece must have meaning and everything overall should tell story. Which as much as that mind-set has helped as an artist, it has also contributed to my recent slump. I’m going to have to learn how to not let my personal style inhibit or stifle me as an artist.

Anyway, I think that’s enough art talk for a little while and I will be back with new post next week. I hope you guys have a wonderful weekend (better than mind anyway) and I will see you guys later.

I’m Alive!

By | Real Life | No Comments

I have been sick for a week and believe me I am more than happy to be functional and back to work. This week I’m really behind on the blogging, so I will be doing my damnest to catch up.  As for my real life, my family is recovering for a harsh strand of the flu. Everyone was sick and it was not pretty. My little boy had to stay home from school for three days and I barely got out of bed last week.

This month has been hell. I did not have happy Valentine’s day.  And then the babies we were going to foster until my other sister got out of prison both ended up dying due to complications. It’s just really sad all around, and I feel a bit guilty because I was not really looking forward to fostering them. I have five children, and I’m just barely managing to assemble some type of career outside of that and I was angry at my sister.

But I never wanted those babies dead, I just wanted their mother to raise them.   I wanted to grow up healthy and happy with their mom. It’s just all very heartbreaking.  But my sister has managed to deal with the grief of losing her children admirally and with more grace than I know I would be  exhibiting right now.  I’m so proud of my sister who didn’t let her grief over her childern backslide her into downward spiral and is trying to make a better life for herself.

Valentine’s day was my mom and my stepdad’s twenth anniversary and it was very much a low key affair.  Honestly, I’m awe that anyone can be with someone that long, I personally can’t see myself being with someone for that many years.

As for my career, well you guys see the new theme? It’s all nice and professional and a complete upgrade from the free wordpress theme I was using.  I decided to transfer my art back to my main site because it was too many sites to manage in the end and this felt simpler.  I’m back to making art, and studying to try to expand my skills by learning Adobe Indesign.  In the end I want to sort end up opening my own web shop here of my art and promote my name as an artist.  So I will be doing that more consistently over the next year or so.

I’m also writing again, and hopefully I can hone my skills into something that I can eventually publish my own book one day. I found this awesome writer’s group and they have been so encouraging and they have answered all my questions.  I also found some damn good beta readers who has whipped my writing into shape. I will diffidently keep you guys updated on that as I progress with it.

Anyway, that is everything for now. I see you guys later!



Hot Mess

By | Blog, Real Life | No Comments

So yet another personal post guys! Seriously, I can’t believe it’s Monday again. Where does the time freaking go? I’m busy, busy, busy doing stuff or my main blog, doing art, and promoting all of my endeavors. Honestly, I wish I had more time in the day. Like I don’t mind the blogging, I don’t mind the art, but the promoting drives me crazy. There are a million articles to read, six social media stuff I have to post to, and I have been slipping with keeping up with my five twitter accounts.

I know I need to be more organzied, but I’m so freaking lazy I can’t even tell you. I just do everything off the cuff, and try to keep lists and pray that everything works. As for my home life, everything is cool, and going on as usual. My parents are gearing up for their 20th wedding anniversary and my mom has admitted that she was shocked that got this far.

And for me, honestly, love is like rock bottom on my list. I honestly don’t see myself falling in love ever again, and honestly,  the thought of spending decades with someone else is a bit scary. I personally just want to start making enough money to feed myself and buy the tiny house of dreams. People think I’m crazy that I have no interest in anybody right now, but again my sexuality is so weird that just summing up myself as queer is the only way I can do describe it.

I’m a homoromantic homoerotic gray-asexual, that shit right there is in two words a MOUTH FULL.  Like I’m sexually attracted to women, but I have no interest in like having real sex with other women or anybody else for that matter. If I fall in love with anyone, it would be probably a woman, but to be honest I don’t want to be with anyone right now or possibly ever.  And how in the fucking hell did I get on the fucking subject of my sexual/romantic life? Who the hell knows people?!!

I sort of long for the good old days when I thought sexuality was basically down to STRAIGHT and GAY. Ignorance is bliss folks. And my parents think: Oh, we don’t want you to die alone, and be a cat lady. Who is going to take care of you in your old age? How about the five kids I quasi-adopted? Or how about my friends, or how about I just take care of myself?

I’m concentrating on my career because for the first time in my life I know what I want to do with the rest of it. I love being an artist, and I love blogging. I want to make a career out of both.  So I’m working to do just that. And if I work hard, I will do that, but it’s a long road to success, especially if you are starting with zero experience in anything other than house making and kid wrangling.

I’ also afraid of success, and that is holding me back, folks. Like I know I should be promoting myself more, but there is a part of me that is afraid that I’m just going to screw up and not meet everyone’s expectations.  But I’m going to put my big girl panties on and be a freaking adult.

Anyway, this blog post is such a mess. I apologize if you managed to make your way through it. I got to get going. I have dishes to clean, and fic to read.  TaTa For Now!

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