So yet another personal post guys! Seriously, I can’t believe it’s Monday again. Where does the time freaking go? I’m busy, busy, busy doing stuff or my main blog, doing art, and promoting all of my endeavors. Honestly, I wish I had more time in the day. Like I don’t mind the blogging, I don’t mind the art, but the promoting drives me crazy. There are a million articles to read, six social media stuff I have to post to, and I have been slipping with keeping up with my five twitter accounts.
I know I need to be more organzied, but I’m so freaking lazy I can’t even tell you. I just do everything off the cuff, and try to keep lists and pray that everything works. As for my home life, everything is cool, and going on as usual. My parents are gearing up for their 20th wedding anniversary and my mom has admitted that she was shocked that got this far.
And for me, honestly, love is like rock bottom on my list. I honestly don’t see myself falling in love ever again, and honestly, the thought of spending decades with someone else is a bit scary. I personally just want to start making enough money to feed myself and buy the tiny house of dreams. People think I’m crazy that I have no interest in anybody right now, but again my sexuality is so weird that just summing up myself as queer is the only way I can do describe it.
I’m a homoromantic homoerotic gray-asexual, that shit right there is in two words a MOUTH FULL. Like I’m sexually attracted to women, but I have no interest in like having real sex with other women or anybody else for that matter. If I fall in love with anyone, it would be probably a woman, but to be honest I don’t want to be with anyone right now or possibly ever. And how in the fucking hell did I get on the fucking subject of my sexual/romantic life? Who the hell knows people?!!
I sort of long for the good old days when I thought sexuality was basically down to STRAIGHT and GAY. Ignorance is bliss folks. And my parents think: Oh, we don’t want you to die alone, and be a cat lady. Who is going to take care of you in your old age? How about the five kids I quasi-adopted? Or how about my friends, or how about I just take care of myself?
I’m concentrating on my career because for the first time in my life I know what I want to do with the rest of it. I love being an artist, and I love blogging. I want to make a career out of both. So I’m working to do just that. And if I work hard, I will do that, but it’s a long road to success, especially if you are starting with zero experience in anything other than house making and kid wrangling.
I’ also afraid of success, and that is holding me back, folks. Like I know I should be promoting myself more, but there is a part of me that is afraid that I’m just going to screw up and not meet everyone’s expectations. But I’m going to put my big girl panties on and be a freaking adult.
Anyway, this blog post is such a mess. I apologize if you managed to make your way through it. I got to get going. I have dishes to clean, and fic to read. TaTa For Now!